In A Quandary...

So I have let myself get wrapped into the whirlwind of looking for a house before this one moves...I knew better! I have done this off and on the past 2 years and felt like I had learned my lesson. BUT this month we felt like if maybe we acted like ours was going to sell...it really would. So we went to the bank...are pre-qualified...have a real estate book filled with dog eared pages and have burned more than a little gas starting and stopping through out neighborhoods...picking up flyers. Well I have found.the.house I want.  A week ago we walked around the outside and peeked in the windows...this Sat we called our super nice realtor and we walked through it. I smiled the second I walked in...my kids were giggly happy, claiming bedrooms, my good husband was happy to see us happy even though I know the space outside isn't sufficient for his wants. But this house is new, it has inside space, it is in a good school district, it is in the town we wanted to live in when we moved here, did I mention the space?..oh...the closet space in this house...! It is the RIGHT house....wrong property if you ask my husband. It is in town on a lot, not in the country with acreage. BUT the price is soo right and it would be a great stepping stone. I lie awake at night envisioning putting my children to put at night...which couch will go where...what would look great here and there and on that window, last night I caught myself going so far as picturing a Christmas Tree in the front window! I am in soo deep! Oh the torture I have put myself in!

I want this house badly...Then the guilt trip sets in...am I tripping over a worldy stumbling block? Am I being ungrateful for what I do have? Am I complaining about the manna? (Can you tell I taught Sunday School this week????) I am very thankful for what we do have. We live in a beautiful home. We have lived here since it was new...it is ours. It is warm, it is cozy, it holds many beautiful life moments for our family. We are surrounded by good friends and good ward members.  It is home.

Yes, we have it good in this little house. We are just a little cramped...but not to where we couldn't survive if we had to. We love having family come but it stinks to have no room for them. We used to have freinds over all the time...we don't entertain anymore because we feel like we would be sitting on top of each other. Wrong attitude but it is what it is.

The biggest perplexity I have is the school issue. Like all parents we only want what will be the best for our children. Our oldest 2 seem to think they are in the best place for them. They both love their schools and don't want to change. Our younger 2 the school thing doesn't apply to them yet...then the kid in the middle. Oh how I love that kid. Oh how I worry about that boy! Trace has always been my non-stop, don't blink you'll miss something child. He hasn't been real happy in school this year. He goes to a school that has kind of a bad rap. But Megan & Chase went there and have done fine. (I think...I hope! ) Trace wants to go to a charter school next year. But he's on a mile long waiting list...and I hear good then bad then good things again about it...Moving to my new dream house would solve his school issues...he'd go to a great Elementary School. Megan is convinced she would transfer in to Canyon Ridge High no.matter.what! Chase thinks he wants to transfer to Stuart no matter where we go.  I have convinced myself that I would let Megan transfer wherever she wanted. Chase...not so sure about. I mean he is only in 6th grade. That kid eats, drinks, and breathes football...and he's good! I'm thinking he would do fine once football started wherever. But I'm not sure what is best! Is this the reason my house doesn't sell? Heavenly Father knows what is best for my kids and is this it?

What it boils down to is this...there is good and there is bad in every school...neighborhood...town...you name it. I pray we...my children...will gravitate toward the good no matter where we are. We are pro-actively trying to sell our home once again...we took a 6 month hiatus when the baby was born last fall.  It is priced right. We have an agent that I do believe is working hard and is good at what she does. Heavenly Father knows my hearts desires. I think I am ok in desiring my kids to have more space to grow up in...I hope that's not being too wordly. This whole house thing is in his hands. After 2 years of trying to sell a home you have to leave it there. I believe we are where we are for a reason. I don't know what that reason is...but my whole attitude has got to be when it's right it will happen.

In the mean time...each day brings a little bit of wonderment....will an offer come today? Till then...I am thankful for this here little casa...enjoying the little moments, and hey...a little house dreaming is good for me...maybe??! I promise myself to keep it all in check...have to!...my luck...someone else is going to snag this gem before mine moves!