Merry Go Rounds & Good News!

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I marveled at the peace I felt. I had my husband back home beside me and my littlest was asleep in the crook of my arm. As my breathing slowed to match that of my sleeping baby...my mind wandering in between sleep and consciousness, I thought of all things...merry-go-rounds! My mind was back at the Pleasant View Elementary School, at recess amongst childhood friends. As the merry go round went around I remember seeing a blur of excitement. I remember trying to focus on one object and with each round and whir that went around that object was what I looked for. A bright shirt, a tree, the back stop on the baseball field, the red brick of the aged school house, the white room out back that was the music room. Around, around I went just catching a glimpse of that object. The sound of a bell ringing brought kids running off of merry go rounds like dizzy ants. Legs that felt like jelly and that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you were sure you were going to hurl all over. My hubby turning off his reading light and leaning over to kiss me brought me out of my childhood trance. As my baby wiggled and snuggled closer to me...I couldn't help but smile at the perfect peace.

This morning in the shower my mind once again returned to the merry go round. Not quite as peaceful as last night. I seemed to relate my life to the merry go round. Fun, exciting and passing my by in a blur! There are so many objects in the distant that I try to focus on but as my merry go round of a life goes by in a whir it seems only once in a while can I actually get to those things. Things like...getting pictures on my blog, scrapbooks done, crafty things like hair bows for my little girls, the want list goes on amongst the daily necessities of laundry, cleaning, cooking, taxi driving, keeping my house in show worthy condition (almost an impossible task with 5 children!) But I was convinced this morning in the shower to grab onto some of these things and bring them in to focus. Oh and then the bell ringing moment...my new calling is screaming my name....Gospel Doctrine...teaching the Old Testament....seriously???? Yep that's the pit in my stomach, surely I'm going to hurl feeling. None-the-less it's a calling and it is Thursday and even though I have put hours into the lesson I feel it needs hours more. But right now I am trying to focus on the blog, no time for pictures right now but a good news update after my merry go round ramblings!

Good news moment....the week it has been 9 years since Steve's diagnosis of leukemia. 9 years! The sharp edge of that knife has never disappeared but this week as I thought of the raw pain of those horrible first days my feelings are bittersweet. The memory of that searing pain will always be there, but my heart is filled with unbelievable feelings of gratitude. 9 years ago this week a Dr in Stillwater, Oklahoma told me I would only have my husband at best for 3-5 more years. We would not have any more children, in fact I needed to prepare to raise the two we did have by myself. Steve could continue with school but it wouldn't do him any good...blah, blah, blah. Basically gave him a death sentence that day. Thankfully our dearest family and friends came to our rescue; which I can never fully thank them for and helped us get him into MD Anderson in Houston TX, and get a second opinion. What a difference that second opinion was!! Dr. Andreeff handed him a prescription and said take these and I will see you in 30 days. That 30 days went to 3 months then 6 months then annual visits to Houston. All the while a  remission by just taking 6 golden pills every day. Yesterday Steve visited Dr. Andreeff for his annual appointment, he was told he had done so well that in 1 year he could just get a CBC done here with our local family Dr and as long as that went well...he could wait 2 years before going back to Houston! Oh Happy Day!!!

I will be forever grateful for Dr's and scientists that developed this medicine, family and friends that helped us get to the Dr. that would give it to us, a strong husband that never once doubted he would be fine, and now a job that provides the means to pay for that miracle drug. Reflecting back over the past 9 years how grateful I am to a loving Heavenly Father that has answered so many prayers for this here girl. Priesthood blessings, an amazingly strong husband that in the midst of it all finished Graduate School and never even missed a beat! and our 5 beautiful kids...all of which are daily proof to me that God hears and answers prayers.

Enjoy the moments...now back to the whir of life...realtor just called wants to show the house in an hour!
UPDATE:  Story of my life...got house sparkling clean for nothing...stood up once again!